May 16–hangover at work:  The painful physical punishment for alcoholic excess on a “school night”; if you are experiencing this, you have obviously used up all of your sick days, as you would have just called and said you had the flu if you hadn’t, or else you thought making it through the workday wouldn’t be that hard, which you have quickly realized is not true; those with an office will close their door and attempt to take a nap, while employees who work in cubes will look for an out-of-the-way conference room to try to do the same, or seek the sympathy of an office-inhabiting friend, who is, preferably, located on another floor.

May 15–farm out:  To use money in the budget to hire someone to do something nobody else in the company can be induced, or forced, to do.

May 14–happy face video:  A videotape made during a company gathering, such as at a retreat or an off-site, that is shown to employees at the event’s conclusion and that features participants smiling and having a great time when the truth is everyone felt held hostage and there were some very tense moments during “problem-solving” sessions when inevitable personality conflicts occurred.

May 13–family:  An overused metaphor that describes a close-knit group; a term widely abused in the nonprofit sector, e.g., “like a family,” “family atmosphere,” “part of the family,” etc; another way of saying “nobody makes any money here” (note: invocation of family bond ceases when it’s time for lay

Beginning this week, there will be a week’s worth of Corporate BS posted every Saturday, starting on May 17.  In order to make this work out right, I need to give you this past Saturday’s definition, so here it is:

May 10–off the record:  Spoken in confidence or unofficially, as in “I’m not supposed to tell you this, and if you ever say I said it, I will categorically deny it; the fact that I am saying this is off the record absolves me of all responsibility for sharing this privileged information with you”; also, code for “Here comes some really good gossip about who is sleeping with whom,” etc.

May 11–office:  A room in which an employee conducts official business and that is the object of fierce and petty politics (e.g., who gets one, who gets one with a window, who gets one in a corner, who has to share one, etc.); provides employees with some degree of insulation from coworkers and with the ability to shut the door to do work on a resume, have a job interview over the phone, or have a nervous breakdown.

May 12–faux deadline:  A due date for a project or the delivery of information that is padded with extra time, due to the fact that the person setting it knows the party working to meet it will screw up and miss the stated “deadline” or not respond by it; essential to meeting one’s own real deadlines.

May 13–family:  An overused metaphor that describes a close-knit group; a term widely abused in the nonprofit sector, e.g., “like a family,” “family atmosphere,” “part of the family,” etc; another way of saying “nobody makes any money here” (note: invocation of family bond ceases when it’s time for layoffs).

May 14–happy face video:  A videotape made during a company gathering, such as at a retreat or an off-site, that is shown to employees at the event’s conclusion and that features participants smiling and having a great time when the truth is everyone felt held hostage and there were some very tense moments during “problem-solving” sessions when inevitable personality conflicts occurred.

May 15–farm out:  To use money in the budget to hire someone to do something nobody else in the company can be induced, or forced, to do.

May 16–hangover at work:  The painful physical punishment for alcoholic excess on a “school night”; if you are experiencing this, you have obviously used up all of your sick days, as you would have just called and said you had the flu if you hadn’t, or else you thought making it through the workday wouldn’t be that hard, which you have quickly realized is not true; those with an office will close their door and attempt to take a nap, while employees who work in cubes will look for an out-of-the-way conference room to try to do the same, or seek the sympathy of an office-inhabiting friend, who is, preferably, located on another floor.

In honor of Mother’s Day, EJ Graff has posted a thought-provoking piece about working mothers in Slate Magazine.  It’s not your typical Mother’s Day greeting, but it’s worth the read. 

Speaking of WARN, there’s a good refresher in the May issue of the New York Employment Law Letter.  It’s well worth the read.

The Worker Adjustment Retraining and Notification Act has been around for a while, but you don’t hear much about it.  That could change in the wake of our present economy.  It seems that, almost daily, there are announcements of business closures, downsizings, reorganizations and layoffs.  When these things happen, are employers remembering WARN?

When Skybus recently quit flying, it was sued by employees claiming that the company hadn’t given the required notice to employees as required by WARN, thus entitling discharged employees to back pay and other damages.  Ditto for ATA Airlines.  Both lawsuits are filed as class actions.

If you don’t remember WARN or it’s kind of fuzzy, check out this fact sheet.  If you’re covered by the law, you’re supposed to give employees 60 days notice before you go out of business or engage in a “mass layoff,” unless you fall within certain exceptions.  When you’re thinking about closing your doors or laying off a bunch of employees, you need legal advice about a lot of stuff.  Don’t forget WARN.

Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffett sing about taking a break in the middle of the day, because they’re “gettin’ paid by the hour and older by the minute,” and because “It’s five o’clock somewhere.”

Alan Jackson;Jimmy Buffett - It’s Five O‘ Clock Somewhere

May 9–NSFW:  abbr.  Not Safe For Work; describes blog or other Internet content that for a variety of reasons (the most common is that it is slightly pornographic in nature) is the type of material that if you’re caught looking at might get you fired.